The Thunder Down Under
April 1, 2008
I come from a land down under / Where beer does flow and men chunder
The lyrics from Men at Work’s maddeningly catchy pop song reverberated in my head long after a recent trip to Australia. Chunder, I learned, is local slang for vomit—and, coincidentally, among the many symptoms that can result from exposure to Campylobacter jejuni, a bacteria commonly found in animal feces. From the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, I also discovered that this foodborne pathogen is the world’s leading cause of bacterial gastroenteritis, and that undercooked poultry is often the culprit. The prime suspect in my case was the kangaroo fillet I ordered for dinner during my last night on the continent. The waiter promised it would pair well with Syrah.
The exact origin of my malaise, however, would have been clearer had I not spent the better part of a week sampling haute cuisine in the big city and roughing it in the Outback. The true source will remain a mystery: I might have just as easily ingested the Campylobacter with some rare quail I enjoyed on my first night in Sydney, or during a dozen intervening meals.
Despite an exotic—and apparently hazardous—menu, the purpose of this trip was not a culinary adventure; rather, I was taking part in Audi of Australia’s "Trans-Continental Crossing," a sightseeing tour through the country’s remote terrain in a convoy of supremely comfortable Audi Q7 sport-utility vehicles.
The Crossing divided a 7,500-kilometer (4,660-mile) journey into four stages, each of which accommodated up to 20 guests at a cost of €6,500 each (approximately $9,500). The prized stage—number three—featured a visit to Uluru, also known as Ayers Rock, the oft-photographed monolith that sits in the center of Australia. Unfortunately, I narrowly missed this portion of Audi’s epic adventure when I joined the itinerary in the tiny Northern Territory town of Kununurra for stage four. My group was nevertheless treated to such highlights as Aboriginal rock art, which is like visiting a museum in the middle of nowhere, and a nighttime viewing of freshwater crocodiles from the depths and darkness of the limestone wonder that is Windjana Gorge. In the dark, crocodiles’ eyes reflect a flashlight’s beam like glowing red embers—no substitute for Uluru, perhaps, but certainly an unforgettable experience.
Filling the space between our first stop at Emma Gorge and our destination at the pearling town of Broome—which lies on the sandy shores of the Indian Ocean, on the far northwest corner of Western Australia—was a landscape dotted with anthills, pools of water inhabited by some of the world’s deadliest reptiles, and mile upon endless mile of unpaved (read: extremely rough) dirt roads.
The Audi Q7 4.2 TDI—an enclave of civilization in any unforgiving environment—boasts the most powerful V-8 diesel engine Audi has ever built. Developing 562 ft lbs of torque between 1,800 rpm to 2,500 rpm, the stout motor powers all four wheels via a 6-speed automatic transmission geared well enough to get from zero to 62 mph in 6.4 seconds, while delivering 21 mpg in fuel economy. An adaptive air suspension is standard in top spec, and works so well that I barely noticed when my right rear tire blew out and ripped itself to rubber shreds.
Audi’s support crew soon came to the rescue and went to work replacing the tire. The only strain I endured was lifting the cooler’s lid to retrieve a beer. It’s an action I would repeat at the adventure’s conclusion, taking in the spectacular sunset at Broome with a locally brewed ginger beer, and no doubt nursing my little Campylobacter jejuni to health.
Can’t you hear the thunder? / You better run, you better take cover
Audi, www.audiusa.com
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